Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Past Lives

Why is it that everyone who is ever hypnotized to go back to a supposed past life always turns out to be close to someone famous? They can't actually be Catherine the Great or Ghengis Khan, that'd be too snooty, but they're always their favourite handmaiden or chief beserker or brother-in-law or chief eunoch. How come no-one ever regresses and says "Oh, I was an ugly pox-ridden illiterate nobody who cleaned the dung out of the toilets at an inn"? I mean, on the law of averages, you would have been - life wasn't that great for 99.9% of the population in the past.

The main reason they can't have been someone famous though, is that through numerous past-life regression sessions, I've discovered that I was Abraham, David, Nero, Napolean, Shakespeare, Caesar, Hitler, JFK… in fact, everyone famous in history was me. Sometimes I was even two people who were alive at the same time but in different parts of the world. I had a particularly tough time during the Second World War, when I was Churchill, Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin. Now that's multi-tasking!

What were YOU in a past life?
Find a famous person

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