Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Zarquon Speaks

Just got a letter from the Great Zarquon, Ruler of the Universe and all-round Numero Uno Deity (this is satire, we all know God is The Man, we don't want to get into trouble from the Christians here at World Wierd Web). He's apparently not very happy that we've been stuffing the planet around, melting the ice he had set aside for the Armaggedon party, burning all the oil he left there for the lamps, and dropping crap into his oceanwide swimming pool. He also mentioned he didn't like Woody Allen much but then who does? Anyway, he says 'STOP IT' or else he'll kick our donkeys, if I'm translating this right. Not entirely sure of the exact wording, I translated it using some plates I borrowed off Joseph Smith and they keep changing the meaning of the same words every time I use them (but obviously I don't mind dissing the Mormons). Anyway, the general gist is clear, we have to behave ourselves from now on. Oh, and send lots of money to me personally. Yeah I'm pretty sure of that part of the translation.

Just thought I should mention it. Could be important.

After the oil runs out

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