Sunday, July 22, 2007

Harry Potter and the Disclosed Secrets

Its becoming a more regular and more promoted annual event than Christmas! Yes, Harry Potter is back and the whole world except Me, apparently, is once again in a frenzy of fanaticism over the latest book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. To save you angst (and purely as a a public service of course) here's everything you need to know:

Burbage dies p12
Hedwig dies p56
Mad-Eye dies p76
Scrimgeour dies p15
Wormtail dies p471
Dobby dies p476
Snape dies p658
Fred Weasley p637
Harry gets effed up by Voldemort on p704
Comes back to life on p724
Nagini gets beheaded by Neville Longbottom on p733
Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy have their deaths confirmed on p734
Voldemort killed Snape
Ron and Hermione get married, 2 kids
Harry and Ginny get married, 3 kids
Malfoy has a son
Final line of the book:
"The scar had not pained harry for nineteen years. All was well."

Let's face it, only a tiny fraction of the fans out there have ever read more than 10 pages of any of the books, anyway. 700 plus pages? Get real!

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