Thursday, June 21, 2007

The The Impotence of Proofreading

You work very horde on a paper for English clash, and then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=) and all because you are the words liverwurst spoiler. Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence. This is a problem that affects manly, manly students. I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term that my English teacher in my sophomoric year, Mrs Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague. And that's all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague. Not just anal community colleague, because I wouldn't be happy at anal community colleague. I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation, I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally. I know this makes me sound like a stereo, but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue. So I needed to improvement or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison (in Prison, New Jersey).

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Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint. The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties out loud to all of my assmates. I'm not joking, I'm totally cereal. It was the most humidifying experience of my life, being laughed at pubically. So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice: 1. There is no prostitute for careful editing. And 3. When it comes to proofreading, the red penis your friend.

By Taylor Mali

94 comments:

Moridura said...

After completing my book, 'The Ancient Order of Moridura', I thoroughly (!) proof read it four times, because I have a good eye for the proof errors of others, (e.g. your missing space between 'pen' and 'is' - perhaps deliberate?). In spite of this, I had to spend a small fortune correcting errors after the first printing. Motto - you can't proof read your own stuff!

I had high hopes that when CERN switched on the LHC in November of this year, they would inadvertently create a black hole, thus increasing the sales of my book, (with a related theme of a nascent singularity created by a meteorite impact in Extremadura).

But then I realised that the extinction of the planet - and probably the solar system - would prevent me from collecting my royalties. Life can be unfair sometimes!

However, doomsday has been postponed until April/May of 2008 because of problems with magnets.

The Higgs boson must be chuckling quietly in interstellar space, its anonymity preserved for a little longer.

http://moridura.blogspot.com


regards

Peter Curran
Edinburgh, Scotland

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But of course, astrophysicists and quantum engineers say that for every single decision anyone (or presumably anything) makes, and entire new universe is created, for every single decision made, every moment of every day. So unfortunately destroying the solar system wouldn't correct your book anywhere except right here, right now – there would still be an infinite number of universes where it was wrong. What sort of mind would you have to have to actually believe that quantum-universe crap!? What happened to Newton's laws!? And why are eggs oval not round!?

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