A reporter from the Melbourne Herald is wandering the streets looking for a story because its a slow news day, when he spots a small kid in a playground about to be attacked by a vicious pitbull terrier, frothing at the mouth and clearly out for blood. He jumps out of his car, wondering what to do, but before he can decide, another older boy runs over, picks up a stick, and hits the dog with it, landing a lucky hit and killing it instantly.
The reporter runs over to the boy and says “Mate, I'm a reporter from the Melbourne Herald and I saw the whole thing. You're a hero, you'll be on the front page of the Herald tomorrow morning. I can see the headline now - 'Brave Bombers Fan Saves Defenceless Child'…”
"Uh yeah", says the boy, but I'm not a Bombers fan."
"Oh…", says the reporter, "you've got to be a Hawks fan then eh? Selfless Hawks Hero Takes On Rabid Killer…"
"No, no…", says the boy, "I'm a Sydney Swans fan!"
So the next day's headline read "Beloved Family Pet Clubbed to Death by Psycho Swans Thug"