Friday, July 07, 2006

Your Horoscope for Today

Today is a good day to look both ways before crossing the road, and you should be careful with your finances because if you spend money today, the stars predict you will certainly have less than you did. Unfortunately, the Guiding Star of your life has turned out on closer inspection to be a chunk of SkyLab still in orbit, so everything you've ever read regarding your horoscopes until now has been wrong. Your lucky number for today is 51,692, which is not a number found in very many lotteries so it isn't going to be much use to you. The influence of Mars and Venus on the conjunction of a four-petalled rose in Melbourne Botanical Gardens will almost certainly have had nothing to do with you getting any phone calls you might receive today. Your lucky colour is 'transparent', but it isn't recommended that you paint the house in it or it may lead to some embarrassing moments when people walk past. On the plus side, you and the other 552,510,503 people in the world who share the same zodiac sign will meet a tall dark stranger, fall instantly in love, get married and be taken away to Penthouse Suite No 12 at 18 Conroy Road, Cambamattin, but the night will turn sour as over five hundred million people keep taking all the blankets from each other all night, not to mention the queue for the toilet. Finally, the Psychic you are going to see on April 8th next year will ring to say she's had to cancel your appointment because her mother will die unexpectedly the day before.

No comments: